Yes, you a counselor! But not just any kind of counselor. A Biblical Counselor.
Consider Colossians 3:12-17 and look at the relationships that we are to have with other
Christians, particularly when the other Christians have not been very “Christian”.
They have been sinning, and sometimes their sins have been hurtful to us. We
have some direction given to us in these verses, with the one over-all
principle being love. After describing the various character qualities to be found in the life of every believer, Paul says this: Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.(verse 14).
That love was modeled for us in Christ, who
has forgiven us, it was modeled in God who showed forbearance toward our sins.
We should not forget the gospel. What Paul is teaching in these verses is based
on the gospel. Go back and review what Paul taught the Colossians thus far in this
letter. See Colossians 1:13-23; 2:13-14, 20,21;3:1.
So because of the gospel, we should be living in right relationships
with other Christians, bearing with their sins, forgiving their sins, and then
sometimes actually confronting their sin and admonishing them. That’s what we
want to look at in our study today. Notice the words found in verse 16:
Let’s now ask and answer some important questions that will
challenge us to fulfill our fellowship responsibilities as it relates to admonishing
other Christians.
What does it
mean to admonish someone? The word literally means to put something into someone’s mind. It
can be understood as giving someone a warning about wrong behavior. But more
than just warning, it also will include positive instruction to correct the
wrong behavior. This is something that we frequently had to do with our
children as they grew up in our homes. But it is something that we all need
from time to time because we all continue to engage in wrong behavior. In 1
Thessalonians 5:14 we see Paul commanding those Christians to admonish their “unruly”
members. That would be Christians who were not being submissive to the Word of
God (unruly being the military word for a soldier submitting to those who are
over him). But be careful not to think that admonish is an attitude of
criticism and judging. It is to be done because you care.
By the way, there are two passages where Paul lays out this
requirement to admonish one another. Besides this verse in Colossians we also
find it in Romans 15:14. It is interesting to note that Paul has not been to
either one of these churches, meaning that he does not know very many of the
people. Yet he expects them to do it.
How should
we admonish one another? We
will look at specific situations in our next question, but there are some
suggestions from how Paul speaks to this admonishment ministry. First, we should be willing to
admonish one another constantly.
Both passages where it is mentioned has this verb being used in the present
tense which suggests continual admonishment, whenever the need arises.
Second, we should be
willing to admonish one another biblically. By that, I mean we need to know
the Word of God because that is the basis of our admonition. It does not come
from our experience, our environment, our feeling, or anything else from within
us, except the indwelling Holy Spirit who teaches us and fills with knowledge
from the Word. But that doesn’t mean we can use lack of knowledge of the Bible
as an excuse. It is expected that we will “filled with knowledge” (Romans
15:14), and have the Word of Christ dwell in us richly (Colossians 3:16). So we
need to get on that job continually so we are prepared.
When should
we be willing to admonish another Christian? The process of bringing scriptural admonition
to another Christian depends upon the situation. Here are two possible
scenarios where you will need to fulfill your God-given responsibility to
admonish.
First, when admonishment is needed
because there is a problem between two Christians, then we need to work toward
reconciliation. Paul says in Colossians 3:15 that we are to Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. Peacemakers, an organization is dedicated to helping Christians make peace with one another (visit http://www.peacemaker.net for more information). Its founder, Ken Sande, has also written an excellent book called The Peacemaker. Sometimes making peace with a fellow believer will require admonishment. Sande describes four main principles involved in the peacemaking process with 4
Gs . Here they are:
Glorify God: Our life is not about us. It’s
not about you. It’s about God. His glory is what needs to be our focus.
Get the log out of Your Eye: We need to take care of our own sin first. It
is not practical to be admonishing other Christians when we are a part of the
problem.
Gently Restore: Here is the actual admonishment
part. If forbearance is not a realistic solution to the problem, if the other
person is not acknowledging the existence of a problem, then we should be ready
to speak with them, following instruction given in scripture (Galatians 6:1-2).
Go and be reconciled: That is exactly what God has
done for us in Christ. He reconciled us to Himself. We were His enemies (Romans
5:10), but now we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Second,
when admonishment is needed in the life of a Christian due to wrong behavior,
then out of love and concern for their spiritual growth, we need to be prepared
to speak the Word of God into their life. Notice the command that begins
Colossians 3:16 out of which admonishment is built. We are to “let the Word of
Christ dwell in us richly.” Obviously, then, we need to know God’s Word.
There is a
term that is now used more and more widely called Biblical Counseling. It has
also been given the term Nouthetic Counseling (nouthetic coming from the Greek
word for admonish). In fact, the Biblical Counseling movement is based strongly
on Romans 15:14 where we read ” And concerning you, my brethren, I myself
also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all
knowledge and able also to admonish one
another.” This is our nouthetic word
being used again. This is not a message given to a select few, to some gifted
individuals. It is something that every Christian needs to be ready to do.
Of course, there is
certainly a great deal of value to training for Biblical counseling. This does
not mean that everyone should be doing it as a regular ministry. Some would
certainly be more gifted and equipped than others. But we all should be ready
to step up to help another Christian who is clearly showing unbiblical
actions. Here is a helpful resource, both for the person who is involved in the
counseling ministry, as well as the average Christian who needs help finding
scripture to address specific sinful behaviors. It’s a book called Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by
John Kruis.
There are
many other resources available that will help to train you for the ministry of
Biblical counseling (think Biblical admonition here). It would be wise for us
to know where we can go to find the information we need as situations arise.
Here are some websites that may help:
www.counselingoneanother.com 
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