What? Me, A Counselor? Part 1

Yes, you a counselor! But not just any kind of counselor. A Biblical Counselor.

Consider Colossians 3:12-17 and look at the relationships that we are to have with other Christians, particularly when the other Christians have not been very “Christian”. They have been sinning, and sometimes their sins have been hurtful to us. We have some direction given to us in these verses, with the one over-all principle being love. After describing the various character qualities to be found in the life of every believer, Paul says this: Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.(verse 14). 

That love was modeled for us in Christ, who has forgiven us, it was modeled in God who showed forbearance toward our sins. We should not forget the gospel. What Paul is teaching in these verses is based on the gospel. Go back and review what Paul taught the Colossians thus far in this letter. See Colossians 1:13-23; 2:13-14, 20,21;3:1.

So because of the gospel, we should be living in right relationships with other Christians, bearing with their sins, forgiving their sins, and then sometimes actually confronting their sin and admonishing them. That’s what we want to look at in our study today. Notice the words found in verse 16: Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. It is the admonishing word that speaks directly to this subject of being a counselor.

Let’s now ask and answer some important questions that will challenge us to fulfill our fellowship responsibilities as it relates to admonishing other Christians.

What does it mean to admonish someone? The word literally means to put something into someone’s mind. It can be understood as giving someone a warning about wrong behavior. But more than just warning, it also will include positive instruction to correct the wrong behavior. This is something that we frequently had to do with our children as they grew up in our homes. But it is something that we all need from time to time because we all continue to engage in wrong behavior. In 1 Thessalonians 5:14 we see Paul commanding those Christians to admonish their “unruly” members. That would be Christians who were not being submissive to the Word of God (unruly being the military word for a soldier submitting to those who are over him). But be careful not to think that admonish is an attitude of criticism and judging. It is to be done because you care.

By the way, there are two passages where Paul lays out this requirement to admonish one another. Besides this verse in Colossians we also find it in Romans 15:14. It is interesting to note that Paul has not been to either one of these churches, meaning that he does not know very many of the people. Yet he expects them to do it.

How should we admonish one another? We will look at specific situations in our next question, but there are some suggestions from how Paul speaks to this admonishment ministry. First, we should be willing to admonish one another constantly. Both passages where it is mentioned has this verb being used in the present tense which suggests continual admonishment, whenever the need arises.

Second, we should be willing to admonish one another biblically. By that, I mean we need to know the Word of God because that is the basis of our admonition. It does not come from our experience, our environment, our feeling, or anything else from within us, except the indwelling Holy Spirit who teaches us and fills with knowledge from the Word. But that doesn’t mean we can use lack of knowledge of the Bible as an excuse. It is expected that we will “filled with knowledge” (Romans 15:14), and have the Word of Christ dwell in us richly (Colossians 3:16). So we need to get on that job continually so we are prepared.

When should we be willing to admonish another Christian? The process of bringing scriptural admonition to another Christian depends upon the situation. Here are two possible scenarios where you will need to fulfill your God-given responsibility to admonish.

First, when admonishment is needed because there is a problem between two Christians, then we need to work toward reconciliation. Paul says in Colossians 3:15 that we are to Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. Peacemakers, an organization is dedicated to helping Christians make peace with one another (visit http://www.peacemaker.net for more information). Its founder, Ken Sande, has also written an excellent book called The Peacemaker. Sometimes making peace with a fellow believer will require admonishment. Sande describes four main principles involved in the peacemaking process with 4 Gs . Here they are:

Glorify God: Our life is not about us. It’s not about you. It’s about God. His glory is what needs to be our focus.

Get the log out of Your Eye:  We need to take care of our own sin first. It is not practical to be admonishing other Christians when we are a part of the problem.

Gently Restore: Here is the actual admonishment part. If forbearance is not a realistic solution to the problem, if the other person is not acknowledging the existence of a problem, then we should be ready to speak with them, following instruction given in scripture (Galatians 6:1-2).

Go and be reconciled: That is exactly what God has done for us in Christ. He reconciled us to Himself. We were His enemies (Romans 5:10), but now we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Second, when admonishment is needed in the life of a Christian due to wrong behavior, then out of love and concern for their spiritual growth, we need to be prepared to speak the Word of God into their life. Notice the command that begins Colossians 3:16 out of which admonishment is built. We are to “let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly.” Obviously, then, we need to know God’s Word.

There is a term that is now used more and more widely called Biblical Counseling. It has also been given the term Nouthetic Counseling (nouthetic coming from the Greek word for admonish). In fact, the Biblical Counseling movement is based strongly on Romans 15:14 where we read ” And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.” This is our nouthetic word being used again. This is not a message given to a select few, to some gifted individuals. It is something that every Christian needs to be ready to do.

Of course, there is certainly a great deal of value to training for Biblical counseling. This does not mean that everyone should be doing it as a regular ministry. Some would certainly be more gifted and equipped than others. But we all should be ready to step up to help another Christian who is clearly showing unbiblical actions. Here is a helpful resource, both for the person who is involved in the counseling ministry, as well as the average Christian who needs help finding scripture to address specific sinful behaviors. It’s a book called Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by John Kruis.

There are many other resources available that will help to train you for the ministry of Biblical counseling (think Biblical admonition here). It would be wise for us to know where we can go to find the information we need as situations arise. Here are some websites that may help:

www.ibcd.org 

www.nanc.org 

http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org 

http://www.ccef.org/ 

www.counselingoneanother.com 

Praying For Others More and More

How often do you pray? Is it a struggle for you like it is for me? Christians know they are supposed to pray, but we know we don't do it often enough. I would guess that no one will come to the end of their life and say "I wish I had spent less time praying." For most of us, it will be the opposite. More time praying. And much of that time should be spent praying for others (not ourselves). 

The book of James is a letter written to Jewish believers who have been persecuted, resulting in them being scattered throughout the Roman Empire. James writes to them to help them understand their faith and how it should be worked out in daily living. As he closes the letter, he turns to the suffering that many of them have experienced. A large part of the answer to their suffering is their need for dependence on God in prayer, and in particular, to be praying for each other during such difficult times.

In verses 13-15, James begins to ask some questions about their personal experiences of suffering (the same word used in verse 10 concerning the prophets) and weakness, which is a more accurate translation of the word sick in verse 13.The answer to such problems is prayer because God hears and answers the prayers of His people.

Though there is much more that can be said about the verses before, our primary focus in verse 16, we will give attention to our responsibility or praying for one another and what that looks like in the Christian life.

This idea of praying for one another assumes that certain things are happening in the lives of Christians. For example, if we want others to pray for us, we must be willing to share our needs with them. People need to know what is happening in your life if you expect them to pray for you. Along with that, we must be involved in other people’s lives in order to know their needs so that we can be specific in our prayer. Also, it is helpful and encouraging for others to know that we are praying for them. And they will know about your prayer for them when you ask them questions and stay in contact. The personal touch through phone calls and visits are an encouragement to people who are having such struggles.

Let’s now ask and answer some important questions that will challenge us to fulfill our fellowship responsibilities as it relates to praying for one another.

First, when should we be praying for one another? Should this happen when we are together with one another, or when we are apart from one another? Answer: Both! The command is in the plural, so there is a definite expectation that we are to pray for one another when we are together. But we also know that Paul prayed for people in the churches that he planted while he was away from them. So certainly we should be praying for one another when we are apart.

This command is also in the present tense, so it is a continual praying, not just a once–in-a-while event. You will notice that Paul was constantly in prayer for the people in the churches he had planted (1 Thessalonians 3:9-10; Philippians 1:3-4), even churches that he had not planted (Colossians 1:9-12). So pray constantly for one another, both when you are with one another and when you are away from one another. Have a continual ministry in the life of your spiritual family through the privilege of prayer.

Second, why should we pray for others? We can find several reasons here and throughout scripture about why we should pray.

1.      In this particular verse, we find that we should pray for one another because prayer is effective. It works! Prayer has some energy to it. This is made clear by the example given of Elijah, found in 1 Kings 17-18.

2.      We are praying “for” one another, on behalf of one another, bringing their needs before the throne of God. That little preposition “for” is the same word used frequently in scripture when it says that Christ died “for” our sins. He died as our substitute. He died on our behalf.  We pray on behalf of those Christians who are struggling in their life. We pray to protect them, to surround them with prayer to our loving Father who is able.

3.      Also, our act of praying for one another shows that we care, just as our heavenly Father cares for us (1 Peter 5:7), a responsibility we accept when we join with others in the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:25). If we really do care (and we usually say that we do!), then we will pray for the needs of other Christians.

Third, what should we be praying? The context of this passage suggests that the praying would be about spiritual weakness. It might be discouragement, depression, apathy, or some other attitude that keeps us from loving God with all our heart, soul, mind or strength. And it certainly could come about as a result of some physical suffering. It may or may not be connected to sin in the life of the one for whom we are praying. When the Lord Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He gave them six areas of prayer. Let’s see how they apply to our need for praying on behalf of one another.

1.      Hallowed be Thy Name: Praying for God to be honored. For the person who is struggling, pray they would bring glory to God through this time of suffering.

2.      Thy kingdom come: Praying for Jesus to come again. For the person struggling, pray that they would find hope in the coming glory (Romans 8:18).

3.      Thy will be done: Pray that there would be obedience to the Word of God. For the struggling Christian, pray that they would submit to God’s sovereign will and look for His hand in their time of suffering. See Colossians 1:9-12.

4.      Give us this day our daily bread: praying for physical needs (finances, jobs, illness, etc.). For the person who is struggling, pray that their physical needs would be met and that they would submit to God’s will and trust in His goodness, love, and mercy.

5.      Forgiveness of sins: Praying for spiritual renewal and repentance through confession of sin. For struggling believers, pray that they would use this time of suffering for self-examination.

6.      Deliverance from evil: Pray that Satan will not have control in the struggle. Satan has a team, an army, at his disposal. When we pray for one another, so do we!

Did you notice that all of these prayer requests are in the plural, beginning with “Our” Father. Its says give “us”, forgive “our”, deliver “us”. There is no “I” or “me” or “mine” in this prayer. We need to be praying for our spiritual family.

A great example of praying for one another comes in the person of Epaphras, as Paul describes in Colossians 4:12,13. Some of the very things we have discussed have been practiced by him. First, he is one of them. Second, he is praying “always” for them. Third, he is praying on their behalf (“for you”). Fourth, he is laboring (literally, agonizing) in his prayer for them. Fifth, he is in pain, his concern for them is so great (verse 13). Is this how you picture your prayer life as you consider the responsibility to be praying for one another?

After Paul describes the armor of God (another plural context, suggesting it is something we do together), he concludes with an exhortation to be praying for all the saints (Ephesians 6:18-19). We are in a battle with Satan and all the power he can bring against us. Prayer is needed! Let's get it going, and remind ourselves that we need one another in many ways, not the least of which is praying for one another.